


beewaoi (part D O S)

by oikawamemesquad



Category: Bee Movie (2007), Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 07:40:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3842587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oikawamemesquad/pseuds/oikawamemesquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>oika was jst a boy,,, and (bee)iwa-chan was jst… a bee,,, how bad meme bee…</p>
            </blockquote>





	beewaoi (part D O S)

**Author's Note:**

> re·gret  
> rəˈɡret/  
> verb  
> 1.  
> feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).

oika was jst a boy,,, and (bee)iwa-chan was jst… a bee,,, how bad meme bee…  
pollintion seas osn was completo… but beewa chan was THIRST  
HE THIRST FOR THE OIAKWS KNEE  
knee so sweet, so succulnet, dleicoius so delcisuo u tates the egg (egg dj)  
oikawa will have THESE HANDS (yaoi hands, big yaio hands. so bgi he’s ur umbrlela when it rains, as bi g as his luvv 4 beewa cha n,,,,)  
beewa -chan had giant yaoi BEE HANDS, oikaw loevd those hands, they can hold so many egg, like 4 whole eg g. so bgi so hot u fry 4 whole egg. sizzle (hot n dry like beewa-cha thirst)  
“beewa-chan i want u” he pause  
“ye?”  
“only u cn pervent frest furs”  
“im brready (milk bready)… to use my stin g er” sai d bee(badboy)iwa-chan and careless whisper start playing from oikswa phon e  
he oge 2 awsr butt tenh he rememebly …  
“but r u ready freddie” oikawa ask iwa-chan  
“ive revved up my engines im reedy” iwa-chan sead “im buzzing”  
“rev up those buszzers beewa-chan” oiakwa sida tuoching beewa-chna’s fac e whti his big yoia hndas.  
“im so gay” oiki whispers  
“the only straight i am” iwa says “is straight up BALLIN’”  
teyh leannd in to fenallie maek hte honey  
suddenly!!! !! voice come formn now ehere??? “come to beeratorizawa” the vocie said  
it wuz hte big (sO B IG,,,,,,,,,[,as bgi as 4 whole egg]) b(ee)ara man USHIMEMEA  
“what r u doin here baaka-chan???” oikaw demanded

“im here to drop my new latest hit single, ‘join bee’. buy my mixtape before its sold out” (tfw no one buys ur mixtape) (u gotta support the farm in some way) tehn his big b(ee)ara hndas pull out a…. T ROMB ONE. (interesting fact toid ushijimmy is quite the tromboner) ;)  
he plays “INTERNATIONAL TRACTOR”  
oikaka hea rs a suond comin g from the distnace.  
its  
a surpise  
lets meme  
then a SHIT LOAD OF COWS JUST FUCKING BUSTS IN HIS HOUSE LIKE IS THERE EVEN COWS IN MIYAGI WHO FUCKING KNOWS BUT THEYRE IN OIKAWAS HOUSE AND THEY SHITTING EVERYWHERE AND EATING ALL THE GRASS HOLY FUCK LIKE LIVING LAWN MOWERS VROOM VROOM

“y u do this uwhsi ijam” oika crey

“my city now” ushijman says as he puts on aviators and skateboards away GET REKT OIKAWA  
ushijam whistles then all hsi cows dnace and spell out “u shouldve come to beeratorizawa” (hsi cows have been trained to do this ok.)(they’ve won many regional competitions for their routine which requires rigorous practice and proper nutritional diet to maintain their quite athletic stature)

well that was awk

anyways  
afte rsu hsijimmy left, oikawa look all serious  
“i have sooper secret iwa-chan”  
“what evr u tell me i will still luv u 9ever”

“i am…” oikawa tears up “an alien”

iwa chen gasp ed “i fucked an alien”

“i was gonna probe u iwa-chan, wih t THESE HANDS. do u still want THESE HANDS iwa-chan?”

iw ach n stared at THESE HANDS and gulp ed… THESE HANDS were such big hand s and ifn gers so long like lev’s legs. leg haiba long.

“ill have THOSE HANDS if ull...take BEEZ NUTS”

“ill take all of u” oika w says stroking iw ahc n agan with THESE HANDS. partition by beyonce starts playing and they ged into the mooooooood (lik a cow lmao)

Oikawa pushes Iwaizumi down onto the sheets, hands roaming hungrily across the expanse of his torso, running his fingers across the carved ridges and valleys of his abs. Iwaizumi shivers at the feathery touch.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa purrs, “You look so good right now.” Iwaizumi catches the way Oikawa licks his lips, pink tongue darting out to glide smoothly across his bottom lips and he groans, imagining how that tongue would feel against his own mouth. Leaning down, Oikawa breathes, hot against the shell of Iwaizumi’s ear.

“I’m ready to probe,” he whispers. “You will have THESE HANDS.”

Iwaizumi shudders at the sensation of Oikawa’s lips against his ear. “If you’ll have BEEZ NUTS too…”

With a smirk, Oikawa slides down, his deft fingers unbuttoning Iwaizumi’s jeans. He pulls down his boxers and pants in one motion until they pool at his ankles.

“I should tell you Iwa-chan…. I’m...allergic to nuts.”

Iwaizumi gasps. “Oikawa… I didn’t know…”

“ALLERGIC TO NUTS NOT BEING IN MY MOUTH LMAOOOOOO”

He gave such good head that Iwaizumi swore he saw outer space. Because Oikawa was an alien. Get it. Aliens are undeniably good at blow jobs, true facts. Iwaizumi grips at Oikawa’s hair, careful not to rip it out by the roots but damn was it hard to control himself. His hips buck against Oikawa’s HOT BEEHIVE ENTRANCE.

“Oikawa wait,” he barely pants out and Oikawa slides off him, watches him with curious eyes and pretty swollen lips.

“I want to be(e) in you,” Iwaizumi manages to say. “With my WEAPON OF ASS-DESTRUCTION.” He can see Oikawa’s eyes glance momentarily down at the stinger between his legs before holding his gaze.

“You do?” His voice comes out hoarse, out of need and also because of the fact that he had BEEZ NUTS in his mouth like a minute before but yeah.

“More than anything… I need to… pollinate you…again.”

Oikawa gets on his knees and Iwaizumi lingers behind him, wearing dick gloves and lubricant (BEE WAX) SAFE SEX KIDS YOU GOTTA PROTECT YOURSELVES(u could get stbees). He grips the flesh of Oikawa’s ass in his hands, kneading it, spreading the cheeks open. He FUCKING POLLINATES OIKAWA IN ONE GO WITH HIS STINGER OF ASS-DESTRUCTION. Oikawa’s elbows give up on him and his torso collapses against the mattress, chest heaving and ass in the air AYYYY IT MUST BE THE HONEY. DEEZ HONEY NUT CHEERIOS. 

“Your stinger is so sharp Beewa-chan,” Oikawa moans into the mattress. “Talk dirty to me (shinji-kun)(I’m gonna blow ur mind, Kaoru).”

Iwaizumi obliges and leans down to his ear, licking at the outer shell. “I will fill you with my honey. I will unfurl you like a flower. I will make you buzz. I’m never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”

Iwaizumi BUZZES and Oikawa cries out in ecstasy as he is filled up with Beewa-chan’s love syrup, sweet like honey, probably because it is honey. Don’t recommended putting it in your yogurt since it’s inside Oikawa’s ass now. Unless you’re into that. (pretty sure most people are) Indirectly eating Oikawa’s ass. I mean I would. His ass is so pretty. Itadakimassu. Savour the honey my friends. Especially if it’s Oikawa Tooru. I’m ace why do I keep talking about eating Oikawa’s ass? Who knows. I’m just a simple meme who has sinned. I’ve sinned so badly. I’m sorry. I’ve never written nsfw in my life and this is what it amounts to. I’m sorry Oikawa Tooru and I’m sorry Iwaizumi Hajime and I’m sorry bees and aliens. (Apologize to Ushi and the cows too) I’m sorry Ushijima and I’m sorry cows. I hate myself and everything. Anyway

They both collapse together against the mattress, sweaty and panting and utterly WRECKED GET REKT NO SCOPE 360 QUICK SCOPE 180 MLG PRO NO N00BS

the end because im so done. so so done. im so sorry. please forgive me.  
It may be the end, but our sins will be eternal. This will be remembered… remembered for Centuries… [FOB MUSIC PLAYS IN THE DISTANCE]  
Oshiete, oshiete yo mother fuckers  
[iwa-chan voice] i fucked an alien  
Our sins will never be OGRE

\--notes--  
this now needs to be put on AO3  
not today tho  
i already posted oibamney today  
yeah I know. We have enough sin already  
cleanse yourself by bathing in hajime’s sweat  
WAKA-REKT  
WREK IT RALPH STYLE  
set shrekted  
taste the honey ass  
taste the rainbow  
savour the honey  
Perfect  
NICEE  
ye  
would iwaizumi’s cum be honey tho  
not the lube  
oh shit, then… idk. he uses both or smthing thn  
oh nvm.  
MORE POLLINATION. INCREASE THE BEE.  
..its bc oikawa is an alien ok ok  
i am tired and i have sinned too much but this is work of art 69/10  
yeah lmao  
PLOT TWIST  
EW WASPS  
WASPS ARE GROS. WHAT. pLOT TWIST  
don’t bees die when they lose their stingers or somthin. rip iwaizumi  
yeah they do  
anGST  
pls do ur essy  
do your assey  
stinger in butt?  
WEAPON OF ASS-DESTRUCTION  
we all need jesus u need more than jesus  
THIS IS THE BEST AND WORST THING  
OH MY GOD well i hope he’s not allergic to bee stings  
it ok he has a stinger not nutz FUCKK  
how far r we going  
we going dick glove far?  
lmao oikawa, RIP, beez stinger. JESUS  
is alien oikawa top THESEEE HANDZ  
theze handz  
probing time


End file.
